My Chinese Clown
|
"That night, I’d accepted his invitation to sit down, and he’d magically produced two big bottles of Tsingdao beer and a package of barbecued chicken feet. "
|
I was on the rebound with a Chinese clown. My boyfriend, the son of an American diplomat, broke up with me over lunch at the only Western Sizzler in Beijing. The Chinese version of the Sizzler, much like the Chinese Pizza Hut, is considered classy, with white tablecloths, wine goblets and a steady stream of Kenny G. That afternoon, I told my sob story to the neighborhood clown—a countryside cutie with high cheekbones and a girlish laugh who wore a green and yellow polka-dot cover-all to deliver flower bouquets on his electric blue moped. "My old boyfriend doesn't like me,” I stuttered. My Chinese was shaky, and I didn't know the word for breakup. I improvised. “He says he doesn't want a girlfriend." "Mei shi," the clown assured me, no problem. “I’m here. I can be your boyfriend now.” It was as easy as that. We sat outside his flower shop on kindergarten-sized folding chairs. Chinese pop music and the cloying scent of lilies wafted through the humid night air. Two schoolgirls jumped rope on the sidewalk, and a thin man in a Mao suit cycled past, his three-wheeled cart piled high with clouds of Styrofoam. This wasn’t a first for the clown and I to talk, but it was the first time I hadn’t felt guilty about flirting. That night, I’d accepted his invitation to sit down, and he’d magically produced two big bottles of Tsingdao beer and a package of barbecued chicken feet. The clown set down his bottle and grabbed my hand. His fingers were thin but strong, skin weathered from a childhood harvesting cotton and corn. I felt the electrifying tingle of a new crush, followed by a hollow disappointment as he let go. "Feng shuo," he said, break hands. “Ni ming bai ma?” he asked, or literally “you bright white?” “Wo ming bai,” I said. I understand. My hours-earlier boyfriend had never been a hand holder, and in that magical Beijing moment, I understood, clearly and brightly, that he’d already been replaced. I’d traded in a prep-schooled jokester for a countryside clown. "I like your hat," I told the clown. He adjusted the silk rose pinned to his green skullcap then tugged on his plastic nose. In broken English, he slurred, "Thank you…verrrry, verrry much." At the time, I was living near the ancient Drum & Bell Tower in downtown Beijing, beside the noisy entertainment district of Houhai, a manmade lake surrounded by hundreds of concrete and plywood bars and old people’s playgrounds. Our hutong (the traditional living quarters for Beijing families) comprised a concrete maze of alleyways, populated with beer and cigarette stalls, bicycle and shoe repairmen, prostitutes fronting as hairstylists, and generations of families living in courtyard homes, hidden behind formidable, red wooden doors. Blankets, frilly pushup bras, birdcages, and strings of raw fish, set out to dry, hung from laundry lines crisscrossing the alleyways. Old people sat on the streets wearing pajamas or sleeveless undershirts, playing mahjong on makeshift tables, or fanning their mop-haired dogs. Men and women washed their hair and clothes on the street, pouring hot water from a ticking kettle into a plastic washbasin and chatting with neighbors as they scrubbed. Read More... |

+ Enlarge
Wow Kate, I came across this just searching for some blogs on China and I'm blown away. At first, my page did not load the pictures and I kept reading, trying to figure out if this boy was literally a clown.
The narrative built up so well. I was very afraid something would happen when you saw him without his clown clothes. I'm living in China right now and all of the imagery I can recognize adds even more to it.
I love how full of small moments this piece is, but yet how they culminate into something huge. Especially the part about him writing his name on your palm. :)
I just now realized this post is three years old. Hope all is well in your life,
ab
Thanks for reading and the kind words. How exciting that you're in China now! I left China in August, in part because I STILL wasn't over having broken up with the clown, and yes, I have a book about him in progress.
But yowsers! Has it really been three years?!?! Oh hell with relationships...my love for him was not ideal but it was magic in so many, many ways.
Yes! Dig the clown portrait you painted with words. Did either of your noses fall off after swimming in the cesspool?
Hahahaha....Noses (and all other body parts) in tact. Very clever, cam2yogi.
Agreement with both of those, great piece! But more importantly, how have things been going with your dream clown? Perhaps a follow-up article is needed!
you're welcome to stop by the flower shop anytime. now that summer is back, we regularly take our dinner outside the shop. big bowls of edamame and boiled peanuts are standard summertime snacks, along with watermelon and garlicky cucumbers. pick up a few tsingdao on your way over and come join the fun!
Wow, this piece should have won, hands down! Beautiful, deceptively simple storytelling -- I felt like I was actually there -- and a wonderful connect with the reader that you establish early on, drawing us in closer and closer, till you and your new man finally kiss, and then we feel it's our experience as well.
Now I want to visit China!
Thank you for your article.
Best,
Caroline Oceana Ryan
You are too kind. Sincere thanks for letting me know that you felt like you were there, and, even better, that you're made more curious about China. Thanks for taking the time to read, and respond. Cheers, and hoorays for your own journeys.
You are very kind to even respond, Rucksacker. I'm too honest to write BS travel narratives, and too stingy to share my secret spots and hovels. Yet when it comes to exposing my personal life to the world...well...that's the thing of non(fiction) to me. I look forward to reading your contest post, and anything else. Cheers, and best wishes for your upcoming travels into India. I only spent one month there two falls ago, but it was amazing...especially the camel festival in Rajastan.
What a wonderful piece of writing - one of the very best I've read on Matador so far. Great job Kate! I'm finishing up my contest entry now, but you've certainly set the bar high.
I like the last page best - the whole piece builds to a real glowing moment at the end and left me truly touched.
Good luck with your Clown.
Tim