Peru stuck its fingers up at me as I left. Twice. On my last night, the girl at Interbank gave me fake money and I was in too much of a rush to realise. The taxi driver and I had been getting along famously until I tried to pay him with the Peruvian equivalent of a Monopoly note. Then, just as I was...

I’ve never been a walker. It’s my parents’ fault. They met over a soggy map at the Ramblers’ club, admired each others jazzy hiking socks and that was that. Later they chose to torture their children by taking them on walking holidays, dragging us up wintry peaks in...

1. 2 ½ hours journey time is nothing

Having been brought up in miniscule England, I always used to prepare for any journey longer than 30 minutes as if it were an Arctic voyage. I’d consult maps, pack skis and prepare a lunch. Manchester to London takes 2 ½ hours by train. In English terms, this...

I got the hell out of bar-brawling Calama as fast as possible on an airport transfer (9,000 CP). It’s a winding, empty road through desert country to get to San Pedro (think Thelma & Louise as they’re nearing the Grand Canyon) and everyone was gossiping about the fact that we’d all shared...

I got the hell out of bar-brawling Calama as fast as possible on an airport transfer (9,000 CP). It’s a winding, empty road through desert country to get to San Pedro (think Thelma & Louise as they’re nearing the Grand Canyon) and everyone was gossiping about the fact that we’d all shared...

I like understanding things. I get a kick out of knowing how life works. I’ve think I’ve made a pretty good job of adapting to Chilean culture but there are some things I just still don’t get. I’m not criticizing; I’m just trying to figure how the world works down here. While we’re at it,...

“There’s the llama, look!”

Above me were a billion, tiny stars, shining brighter than the sequins of a Las Vegas showgirl, but no llama.

“To the left. Up a bit. Near the Southern Cross.”

Squinting hard and shivering with the cold, I scanned the skies again. Faced with such an all-singing,...

A two and an half hour wait for a new visa at Santiago’s Ministry of Immigration and Foreign Affairs needn’t be dull. You can watch TV. And what else would be on at 8.30am but a string of South American soap operas?

I have absolutely no idea what I was watching when I went there on Friday. The sound...

1. La Vega

Nowhere in Santiago feels more South American than La Vega. Wander the city centre streets with its uninspiring but earthquake-proof architecture and there’s a real feeling that you could be anywhere. Not in La Vega. Santiago’s main market, set in a shady part of town next to the murky...

Guapo, a German Shepherd cross who lives outside my local bar in downtown Santiago, likes car chases, especially when they involve taxis.  In fact, the only thing he enjoys more than tearing after passing vehicles and trying to sink his teeth into their tyres, is barking at men. Male taxi drivers...

Chile is a bewildering and surprising place. After 8 months in this skinny, mountainous land, I feel I understand it less now that I did when I first arrived.

When you move somewhere new, it’s the differences you notice. Indeed, the strange idiosyncrasies of a place and its people are what make travelling...

Maya Angelou once said that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. I think a lost passport needs to be added to the list.

Yesterday, I was supposed to be heading to Argentina to fulfil a long-held...

The Rough Guide to South America cites Sanitago as being one of the few cities in the continent that offer a ‘safe and welcoming haven for any sexual orientation’. On the surface, that might even be true. Bustling Bellas Artes and bohemian Bellavista boast a number of gay and lesbian clubs, bars...

1. “That’s funny, they never bite me”.

Well bully for you. I bet Johnny Depp told you how beautiful you were when you woke up next to him this morning too.

2. “But there aren’t any mosquitoes here. I’ve never even seen one!”

YES THERE ARE! Do not make me drop my pants and prove it...

“I’m going shopping. Do you need anything?”

“Yeah, can you get me a piece of old rope? Oh, and a French maid’s outfit… and some fake hair...and a chocolate penis.  Better get another broken toilet seat too, just in case, ooh and we’re nearly out of doll parts.”

“What about...

Santiago has turned me into a sloth. I’ve never had so little exercise in my life. Even when I was in hospital on traction after a road accident I got more cardio than this.

It’s not entirely the city’s fault. I could have lived further away from work. I could make more of an effort to find a...

As I write this, I can see The Andes from my window. It’s been raining recently and for once La Cordillera isn’t just peaking out from behind the smog but standing proudly in a snowy hat for all to see. It’s incredible how easily you can get used to such a majestic view.

The mountain range is...