Monday, January 22, 2007

 
Hi everyone! I've decided to include some short works of fiction in my
blog. Did you get that TSA? FICTION. WHAT FOLLOWS IS FICTION. THERE IS
NO WAY THIS REALLY HAPPENED...IT IS ALL A BUNCH OF LIES! This was a
story made up by someone else, this did not happen to me. Got it?! So
here goes:

Once
upon a time there was a girl who needed to get from one country to
another. She happened to be on a boat in a beautiful bay off of Aehaie
(our fictional country). Her new found friends had taken her all over
the country the night before and shown her a really good time until
around 4 am, so when she woke up in the morning she was really tired
and hungover. Unfortunately, the sailboat needed to get to another bay,
and everyone on that boat woke up late and was groggy, so there was a
mad rush to the dingy and everthing was just shoved into bags so this
girl could get to the airport. When she got to the airport, she was
planning on having a few hours to repack before the flight, but
instead, she was early enough that she was able to go standby on an
earlier flight, so she had to rush right out to the gate and get on the
plane. The people working security in Aehaie were very skilled and
talented and made sure that this girl did not DARE bring on board the
1/3 of a latte that she had just purchased in the airport accross from
the security entrance. NO, she MUST dump out this small amount of latte
before getting on board. So she did. It was a great flight with good
views and the girl landed safely and went through customs and
immigration in the country of Usahie without any problems. As the girl
was looking for change in her purse for the bus, she realized that in
her purse were one decent size knife, a book of matches, and more than
3oz of a highly flammable liquid. We should all thank the security
agents of Aehaie for saving the lives of the innocent passengers aboard
the flight, and this girl, because had she had those last few sips of
latte, she might have been caffeinated enough to accidentally pull out
the knife on board thereby creating an international disaster and
ending up in jail. This was not a podunk airline with a cardboard sign
either, this was Usahie Air!

The moral of the story...if you
make people dump out their coffee, they will fall asleep and forget to
use the 3.5 inch blade you let them bring on board.

(This is a
purely fictional story, any resemblance to actual events or countries is purely
coincidental and has no basis in reality whatsoever)