No, I wasn't the one getting married in St. Thomas (it was my cousin from Minneapolis), but I've more or less decided that if/when I get married, it will be a destination wedding just like this one.

I first heard about this wedding in the fall of 2006, and when my parents decided we were definitely going I was excited. They were never big on tropical (or "relaxing") vacations while I was growing up, and the Caribbean is a place I don't think I could have traveled to until I was around 60 because of the high costs. I've never traveled anywhere else for a wedding aside from Ohio, so this was a particularly special occasion. I rarely get to see my dad's entire side of the family, since one of his brothers and his family always lived back East somewhere and even the family in the Bay Area I don't see as often as I used to. It was also the first time I'd traveled with that side of the family, so being on vacation together was a nice change of pace for us. While all of my other Bay Area relatives traveled together, I traveled separately from my parents and sister because I had purchased a separate itinerary from theirs (I went to San Juan after the wedding). Some of my relatives were astonished that I would fly on my own, but it was not at all a big deal for me since I had flown on my own to other countries before. I had two connecting flights, in Chicago (where it was 2 degrees Fahrenheit when we landed), and in San Juan, where I had to wait for over 3 hours for my half-hour flight to St. Thomas.

Everyone stayed at the Bolongo Bay Beach Resort, where the wedding was held. It was one of the more reasonably priced places on the island, where guests had pick of different types of water activities (aqua-cycles, paddle boats, kayaks, windsurfing).

As for the location, it can be disappointing, especially to those who have traveled extensively. St. Thomas is one of the most developed islands of the Caribbean, with the main town catering entirely to tourists, especially those from cruise ships. It's difficult to locate anything local, although I did come across a wonderful West Indian restaurant, Gladys' Cafe, where I had a delicious chicken roti. Most of my time in town involved walking along the water and checking out tourist shops selling duty-free goods like alcohol and jewelry. Cars are expensive to rent and dangerous to drive, as they travel on the left side of the road (like the UK and Australia) - in American-style cars, a scary thought because the island is very hilly and involves a lot of blind turns. Taxis are pricey and charge by the person (not by the car), and they'll even charge you for your bags (even grocery bags). There are no sidewalks or even shoulders to walk on, so you more or less have to rely on taxis. Because of this, my cousins stayed at the resort for pretty much the entire time because of the high cost of transportation.

This was a non-traditional wedding, in a lot of ways. But what I liked most (not surprisingly) was Yvonne and Troy's (the couple) idea of having it on location because it gave everyone an excuse to go on vacation. So often in the US we think of vacations as a luxury that not everyone is entitled to, that a lot of people don't even take the vacation days they have. My mom gets around 2 months of vacation a year, yet a lot of it goes unused because she has so many responsibilities at work. She claims her boss is even worse off. In France, that would have been unthinkable (one of my professors in France said that only 2 weeks of vacation a year was "slavery"). This past week, I saw Michael Palin's Q & A on World Hum http://www.worldhum.com/qanda/item/michael_palin_the_flying_circus_comes_to_europe_20080122/
where he mentioned the lack of the tradition of traveling in the US that is so strong in countries like Australia and the UK. His point was that once immigrants arrive in this country, they stay put and rarely, if ever, leave to see the rest of the world, even their ancestral homelands. I admit that I, along with my parents and sister, had opportunities to travel that most of our other relatives did not. I may not be close to owning a house or have a successful career like a lot of people feel I should, but I feel so lucky to have been able to travel to so many places, especially at such a young age. These are experiences that make me feel incredibly wealthy, even though I definitely haven't been staying at 4-star resorts. I do realize that my dad's parents never left the country, and rarely left the Bay Area, after they immigrated to the US. My traveling also helped me connect with some of my cousin's friends, who I otherwise would have had little in common with.

If there's just one influence I can have on that family, I would love to give them the chance to visit another country. I haven't decided where I would like to have my own wedding (if it ever happens), but possibilities include Mexico, France, Italy and Spain. Hawaii would be another possibility, though everyone would probably go there anyway and might not otherwise go to the other locations. If nothing else, I'd like for everyone to realize that there's more to life than just work - there's a whole world out there you can see.