Both are independent, smart, passive aggressive and untrustworthy.

Rumor has it, more blogs are written about cats than any other topic. You read that correctly: More popular than dogs. More popular than religion. More popular than David Schwimmer. A subsequent study concluded that the authors of cat blogs typically choreograph and narrate furies parties.

What do people write about cats?? HOLD THAT QUESTION: Googling "cat blog" right now.. be right back... (45 minutes later)... Ok, I'm back- just found my substitute for porn! Just kidding, I'm absolutely terrified.

Apparently the question I posed was a trick question- I'm now keenly aware that people don't write about cats, but rather cats (or in this case, "Muddy") writes about cats. Although a touch full of himself, Muddy has the wit of a jester: His latest post reads that "Humans always act so surprised when they get up and one of us cats takes the chair. meow. I don't understand the surprise over this. I mean, who would not want to take advantage of a pre-warmed chair?" full house laugh track.

My comment on Muddy's blog: "toilet seat: pre-warmed or ice cold? Carpel tunnel’s the worst!, but seriously, petting your back has no chance of curing it. Give Myst a paw to the face next time you see that cheating bitch".

Changing subjects because I may have just reached a new low: I think they key to making millions in America is creating a store, website, restaurant, hotel, currency, whatever for cats and dogs. It's a can't miss. People feel more guilt skimping on their animals than they do their first or second child. Thusly, I'm coming out with a new line of dog clothing which focuses mostly on 1980's baggy leggings and loose neck sweatshirts.

Have a great weekend.

ps. next time someone uses google on my computer, they're going to be so weirded out by the keywords I just used to search for the bear/bunny photo.. "furies parties", "furies, entourage","two big stuffed animals, kissing", "furies parties, costume, sex." I just hope it isn't my mom. or anyone else.