The underlying philosophy of the
Miami-Dade driver has become clear to me; driving is not something you
pay attention to. The Toyota Land Cruiser is, by all definitions of the
phrase, on my ass. Were I going slow in the fast lane during busy
traffic this would not seem unusual, but this is not the case. I'm in
the middle lane, doing 15 over (I plead the 5th) and she has had ample
space with which to pass me on either side. The piece de resistance? I
can see in the rearview that she's on a cell phone.

And this is only the 10,000th thing to annoy me on the way to Ft. Lauderdale/Hollywood Airport.

My
anger at the surrounding driver's license-carrying (this is purely
speculation, based only on the fact that they happen to be operating a
motor vehicle and nothing else) population belies the real tragedy. For
the first time in thousands of miles of travel, Norm--our travel-sized
dog--will be unable to join us. He will spend 7 days in perfectly
capable hands...hands which are not ours.

When we drop him off, our reactions are
mixed. She's remorseful, shedding tears at the thought of sending him
away. I'm cursing at our bike rack in the sweltering sun, not thinking
about it. Why did I pack our the battery charger in the
now-inaccessible trunk?

It sounds sappy, but quite frankly, few people
have dogs like Norm. We change our itinerary based on which
establishments allow dogs. We pay "pet fees"--or go to extreme lengths
of trickery--to get him onto flights and into hotels. Norm has logged
four, round-trip, commercial flights in his 18 months of existence.
He's been present for at least half of the 41,000 miles we've logged on
our car in the same time. His “best friend” is a 120 pound bloodhound
from Chicago named “L'ieu”. One might say, "he's just a dog," but Norm
is, quite simply, always there. Having him not be so is as strange as
leaving a baby at the last rest stop.

I plan on drinking a Red Stripe to him and hope he
gets some hot poodle action. The boy needs a break from us—or perhaps,
more importantly, we need one from him.