With the recent furor over whether Thomas Khonstamm lied or embellished in his Lonely Planet guidebooks, I feel like I must get something off my chest.I tell people I’ve been to Ireland, but I've never really been there. 

When sharing with others the list of countries I’ve been to, I always trail off into a whisper at the end “…and Ireland.” and hope no one asks me how I liked it. Apparently a lot of people have been to this country, and my lie is getting harder to hold together. 

Before we get too far, it is technically true that I have been inside the borders of the Republic of Ireland.  On a recent trip to Eastern Europe, I booked a connecting flight on a different airline through Dublin International Airport to save money.  The flight departed about 2 hours after my transatlantic flight from Chicago landed, and I never had to leave the airport.  I did have to fly home out of Dublin in 11 days, though, and I left us a 24 hour buffer on the back end of the trip to try to cram everything Irish into my system. 

I had all intentions of hitting the tourist spots, even spending hours online planning the blitzkrieg of sightseeing that would find us rushing to catch buses and taxis, hastily snapping photos in front of old buildings, and hoisting pints of beer in raucous song. 

But things didn’t work out as planned.  My wife and I were so tired from 10 days in Istria, Dalmatia and Venice that we couldn’t bring ourselves to leave the hotel.  I mistakenly booked a room near the airport, thinking it would be easier the next day.  All this accomplished was guaranteeing that I wouldn’t take the extra effort to get a cab to take us downtown.  My plans to see the Guinness Brewery, Temple Bar, and Trinity College ran headfirst into the wall of exhaustion.
 

All Is Not Lost, Though, I Did Learn Something 

Although we spent almost 24 straight hours within 750 feet of our hotel, we did manage to go out to dinner, and from that brief half-mile walk, I learned enough to pretend like I’ve experienced Ireland.  Condensed into three memorized mantras, they haven’t failed me yet.

1. Ireland is Green 
From cruising over the country in an airplane, it was easy to see how green Ireland truly is.  And on the walk to the restaurant, we passed by a park, and it was really green.  When chatting about Ireland, I always say: “I had heard my entire life how green Ireland is, mostly from Irish Spring commercials, but when I got there, I was truly surprised at how much green there was.  It was everywhere!” 

2. Guinness is Good 
The hotel we stayed in was a brand name chain, but its restaurant was nice.  Twenty euros a plate nice.  We turned down this pricey Asian fusion in favor of a family pizza joint close to the hotel.  Before our food arrived, I ordered a Guinness draught.  Altough I’ve had many stateside, it’s different in its hometown.  When talking about Ireland, I say, “There’s nothing like drinking a Guinness in Ireland.  It’s practically required.”  I never mention that my first Guinness in Ireland was my only Guinness in Ireland.

3. It is always cold and rainy
Although it was mid-August when my wife and I were there, it was forty degrees and raining.  From this, I have concluded that it must always rain and it is always cold.  To sound like a veteran of that Ireland weather, I say, “I would have like to have seen more, but it was cold and rainy the whole time I was there.” 

What’s Your Travel Confession?
Many serious travelers find that it is sometimes easier not to get into the details of every place they have been.  I usually avoid mentioning I’ve been to Ireland, but if I stumble into a conversation about the country, I’m not going to pretend like I haven’t seen its lush, green hills, or tasted its black, frothy nectar, or experienced its cold and dreary weather.

Even though my original plans fell apart, what good were they anyway?  Would I have learned that much more hastily walking the streets of Dublin, posing in front of the James Joyce Centre like a character out of Dubliners?  I’m not sure that I would have gotten a good feel for the country in 12 hours. Instead, I got some peace and quiet in a comfortable bed and ate some great authentic pasta.  Although I only breathed the Irish air for a total of thirty minutes, I have great memories of the country.

Anyone else feel like sharing a travel confession?