Here I am sitting at a grimy coffee shop in San Francisco, California just a couple doors down from the infamous Amoeba Music store wondering, "What the fuck am I going to do with my life?" Does this sound familiar to any of you? I have a hunch that I'm not alone in this sentiment.

It seems like I have all these options swirling around my head, but for starters I have no idea which one is THE one I should go for and secondly I don't know if any of them will work out even if I do delve completely into any of them. Everything seems full of contradictions inside my body. Right now, in terms of travel, I'm trying to get out of the country so badly. My dream is to visit Japan sometime so I'm applying for TOEFL and other English teaching programs over there like JET and the Nova Group. As badly as I would love to fly to that bustling cluster of first world island my best friend on earth is going to be working in SF for the summer and I surely don't want to miss his time in town. Although we see each other every few months it's been years since we've both lived in the same city for more than one week. Who knows when that will happen again, so I'd like to be in San Francisco until at least August even though I'm getting rather tired of this city.

Then there's the whole job hunt thing. Where to begin with that? Parts of me want to go the safe route and look for a solid 9-5 piece of bullshit that would give me health insurance, financial security, and a set schedule. It'd be great if my mind wasn't spending 99% of it's time concerned about every dollar I spend when I go to the grocery store. But, then again, I don't want to stop pursuing my desire of being a great music writer. So, while I'm looking for the white collar, zombie job I'm also trying to get my writing portfolio together so I can send samples out to some of my favorite magazines in hopes that they need a freelance writer to contribute to their publication.

God damn, that's just the tip of the iceberg. I know I'm not currently "traveling" in the traditional sense, but I also am so disconnected with today, thinking so hard about tomorrow, that I don't really feel like I'm here experiencing the present. Does that make sense? I'm on some sort of trip, this one just doesn't require airfare and immunizations.

If anyone has any advice on how to make this whole "figuring your life out" thing any easier, shoot me a comment. I'd love to get your advice. Thanks for listening to the rant. Hopefully there will be good news of some sort for the next blog.

Well, back to work...until next time, laters!