The Cycle
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I've been living the cycle for years now. Maybe you know the one: home and away, home and away, but never really home. I haven't lived in the same building for more than 11 months at a stretch since I went off to college. And increasingly in recent years, my "home" has actually been someone else's—parents, friends, parents-in-law, bouncing back and forth like a game of avoid-the-rent ping pong. Life is certainly simpler when lived in this manner. I'm debt-free after all, no mortgage, no car payments, no TV. But there are times when the cycle gets me down. There are times when I long for a final resting place for the stack of boxes I have sitting in storage in Portland. Times when I need access to all my books at once, the CDs I left with friends in Colorado, the 10-year-old journal gathering dust in a San Antonio closet. Times when I get downright sick of living out of suitcases and overstuffed guest-room bureaus. But it's showing no signs of stopping. After the holidays, I'm back on the road, heading down to South America for perhaps a year. And beyond that…well, my wife wants to go to grad school in Scandinavia, I have my sights set on an extended tour through the Middle East, and we both fantasize about doing another stint in Korea. So today, I'm wondering where the cycle will take me, what more it has in store for me, and when it will finally deposit me in a place I can call home, somewhere I can attach myself to and, just maybe, never let go. Today at least, I'm wishing that would happen sooner rather than later. Anyone have any coping tips for when the cycle gets you down? |
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You're going to have peaks and valleys in any living situation you are in, whether you're vagabonding around or settled into a big, fat mortgage. Debt-free is a wonderful way to live, and I don't ever want to be in debt again. I think being settled is much more conducive to acquiring debt. It is a lot harder to resist the temptations of material goods if you know you are there permanently. Knowing you are going to up and leave in a year or a few months you're most likely not going to buy that expensive dining table set or whatever.
I think Julie is spot on though, the only way you can deal with it is to be present and appreciate what you already have. I found Eckart Tolle's book "A New Earth" has helped me try not to get caught up in the past or future.
I have been meaning to grab Tolle's book for too long now...will make sure to do it pronto. And about this convo string - it's nice to read all of your thoughts and even moreso relate to them completely. Thanks guys.
D
It's funny, the only times I've ever had debt are when I've been traveling! (Well, counting grad school overseas.) Shows which temptations I can't resist, I guess... :D
The first time I went traveling I did it on credit. Since then though, Yvonne and I have always saved up and then traveled. Even Rolf Potts recommends this in Vagabonding...it's much more rewarding! Like you've earned it...and it gives you that goal when you're working.
Thanks for the book rec, I'll check that out.
It's difficult, I give you that. Part of me is tempted to settle down here and meet a girl, take the time to actually do a job, and re-embrace my American heritage... but I don't think it'll last. I'm leaving some debts behind which need to be settled.
It's the only way I know how to live... isn't that true for all of us?
This blog certainly strikes a chord - I hear ya, Hal. As I've written before, I plan to break ground on my cabin this summer. I won't stop traveling, but I'll have a place with my books on the wall. The idea is to rent it out for 3-6 months at a time, while I'm doing journalism projects or leading Dragons programs.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have the $ to just buy land and build a cabin though, and I recognize that. I think that if I didn't have those 2 acres, I'd be much more likely to leave the road for a while, get a 9-5, and save money until I could build myself a humble home.
Thanks for empathizing, everyone. There's gotta be a happy medium out there. House swapping, anyone?
You know I'm all about the swap! In fact, I'd love it if some travelers wanted to go in on the Mex City apartment in a loose time share kinda thing.
That's an excellent idea. I think we should start a global Matador time share club! Now all I need is a home to contribute.
Hey, if anyone is actually into an extended stay in Ottawa, I'm game! Although, Vermont-Ottawa isn't a huge contrast, is it? :P
Pretty big contrast, Eva! Both cold, yes, but there won't be much traffic or light pollution around my cabin. There won't be restaurants or diversity either, but hey, trade-offs, right?
Ditto what has already been said... As much as I'd like to have a place to call my own, where I can decorate my walls and organize all my books, kitchen supplies, toiletries, clothes, etc and have all the responsibilities that a college graduate should have, I also can't fathom not having the freedom to take off for another continent and wander for a few months at a time. Even though I returned to the home I knew as a child, my stay has not been permanent. It's always nice, though, to have a secure place to come back to after moving from city to city every few days and developing a musky smell in my rucksack. And as much as people keep trying to convince me to give up that type of lifestyle and settle down, I just can't do it... there are always going to be places calling me to go.
You're reading my mind, Hal!
This is the eternal dilemma: I love, love, love the idea of setting up a cozy little home for myself, with stuff on the walls and all my books on a shelf (notice we all seem to have keyed in on that?) and a comfy chair for reading and a kitchen full of spices -- and so on and so on.
But I ALSO always want to be able to get up and go, sometimes for months at a time.
How do I cope? Well, I find 'the cycle' hits me hardest when I'm in something approaching a home (my mom's place, house-sitting for a friend, etc) -- so one solution is to take off with a minimal amount of stuff for a strange place and a string of dorm beds or cheap hotel rooms. I tend to forget about this stuff when I'm really traveling -- it's only when I'm half in and half out, reminded of the way most people live, that I get really down.
Does that make sense?
And of course my other coping mechanism is to remind myself it's a work-in-progress! My greedy little plan is to someday have the means to keep that cozy home without sacrificing my travel budget... :D
Hal-
As always, you totally tapped into my own sentiments. I don't really know how to deal with the cycle, which affects me in much the same way you describe here, other than to just sit through it and be present to it, which is pretty humdrum advice, I know. Just last week, I was thinking: I'd love to have one single place we can call home, where I can have all my books in a single room (instead of, as they are right now, in the basement in boxes).
But that thought is often followed by worse thoughts: of compromise, of getting tied down, which scares me.