Quitter
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We plan our travels in different ways. Some prefer to map out every hour of every day, study up on all the must-see sights, and have accommodation and transportation lined up well in advance. Others like to pick a destination and let their activities unfold spontaneously once they arrive. But regardless of these differences, most of us leave with at least a rough idea of how long we’re going to spend on the road. And, obviously, we’d like to fill all of that time with potent travel experiences, discovering the intricacies of the cultures and landscapes around us. So what happens when, for whatever reason, a trip is cut short? Maybe it’s happened to you. You lost your passport in some obscure corner of the globe. A family or professional emergency necessitated your immediate return home. Ran out of money? Contracted dysentery? Simply decided it wasn’t all it was cut out to be? Recently, I was four weeks into a five-week bicycle tour when I decided to call it quits. I’d ridden through one too many rainy day, the scenery had turned rather dull, and work was piling up at home. Moreover, I was only six hours away by bus. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, but in the end I knew it was time to throw in the towel. And it was the right choice. With obligations to attend to and only a handful of days until the start of a new journey, there was much I needed to accomplish. But after I returned, back in the comforts of home, I couldn’t shake this feeling of loss, and guilt—the feeling of being a quitter. What unimaginable and spectacular sights would I have seen, what people met and emotions experienced, had I pressed on for the final week? What did it say about me as a person (and a traveler) that I didn’t finish what I set out to do? Luckily, I’ve been too busy to ponder these questions too deeply. I leave in three days for a trip to the UK, where hopefully I can make up for any excitement I missed out on. But this whole episode has caused me to wonder: As people who live to travel, how do we cope with quitting? |
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I think Eva hit it when she talked about oneupmanship...that feeling is just pure ego, and it serves no good purpose. It's ingrained in us that we can't quit - only losers quit. You can only go on what you're directly experiencing at the time of the decision, and if the decision was right for you then, it should be right now too. It is far too easy to look back and regret decisions, and far too painful (besides, it really is pointless as it doesn't help you now). I've already quoted you a book (A New Earth) but I'll just mention it again :)
I think you do what you have to do. If it's time to quit, then go for it. You could always go back...This is quite interesting, especially if you're a travel writer(Travel-Writers-Exchange.com). It would make for a great travel article -- you're perceived as a "worldly traveler," but are not that into it and want to go home.
I think that's the case with more of us than one would like to believe...
I think I knew the job wasn't going to settle right with me from the first week of orientation. (especially after having had my bike ruthlessly stolen from just outside the front doors in that first week). Interestingly enough, it wasn't so much the aggressively needy kids, but moreso the big company system way of dealing with it all that I couldn't put up with. I just got fed up with not seeing anything positive come out of the system.
Anyways... I, too, enjoyed this post of knowing when to quit. For me, I could totally relate to when I wanted to bike along the coast of Spain from Barcelona down into Morocco. I'd made it about a third of the way, before I realized that I'd have to go Lance Armstrong lightspeed to make it out of the country before I would have illegally overstayed my 90 days visa. My reason to quit was the fear of deportation. Being able to continue with the bigger picture of traveling appealed to me more than getting shipped home on a one-way ticket back to the US and a red mark on my record.
Hal, this post really resonated with me! (And I thought of Tim and New Brunswick's apparent power to send people home, too. :P)
I came home from a 3.5 month European trip nearly a month early, after 10 weeks and change, and even though I did it for the right reasons (money, family) it still haunts me a little. I wonder sometimes if it's legitimate regret (in this case, I missed an MA graduation in a 1000-year-old cathedral, with no less than Bill Bryson handing out the diplomas!) or if it's just some of that ridiculous backpacker one-up-man-ship creeping into my psyche. (You know, real 'travelers' don't quit, that sort of thing.)
Anyway, I think we should take a stand, and start spreading the word that 'real travelers' go home when they need to. :D
Glad you made it to Cape Breton - God's country!
"Real travelers go home when they need to." I like that. Let us spread the word!
And just for the record, it wasn't so much New Brunswick that sapped my enthusiasm (I only cycled 2 days there) as it was PEI. How much rolling farmland can a body take?!
Great post and I concur - Possibly a piece for BNT about knowing when to call it quits!
Hal-
Really liked this post and think that it will resonate with a lot of people in the Matador community. I think you could take this blog and craft it into an article. What do you think?
Thanks, Julie. I've only done destination pieces up until now, but it'd be fun to branch out. I'll give it a shot and get back to you.
Great blog, Hal. Where were you biking?
I was 1 month into a 1.5 month bike trip from Montreal to Halifax last fall when I quit. Felt like the right call then and now.
Looking forward to more of your writing.
-Tim
Thanks, Tim. I was actually in the same neck of the woods. Cycled through Nova Scotia (including Cape Breton Island, which was wonderful--made the whole trip worthwhile) and PEI. Was supposed to come back along the Fundy Shore but gave up in Moncton, NB, and bussed it. Who knows, maybe no one finishes their tours in that region? :)
hahahaha!
Looks like we turned back in nearly the same spot! New Brunswick is a place to quit I guess. I second Julie on requesting an article.
Here's my quitting blog: http://matadortravel.com/travel-blog/canada/rucksack-wanderer/the-blue-side-of-lonely