I want to start by saying I am so sorry and that I love you very much. I'm sorry I've been very out of touch...believe it or not you are pretty up to date regardless. I never understood when I was out and about traveling or even at school the people you would ask what's been new and there was never much. I kinda do now. I mean we do stuff, all the time, we're always busy...but 90% of it is routine, and the 10% while it's something different every (you guessed it) weekend, it's not necessarily bulletin-worthy, at least it doesn't feel it. (Though maybe me doing a 13 mile hike would be I suppose ;)).

My guess is that the major difference between what it was and what it is, isn't actually the cessation or lack of any activity or happenings...rather the loss of the ability to really think, ponder, introspect, about any of it. I mean, it used to be I could sit in a whitewash room with no furnishings and I could tell you the million miles of soul journey I took in that time, what it all means, where it's all going. Now I'm busy from 5am to midnight, and I don't write to tell you about it and am disinclined to speak on the phone more than once a month at best (though that is largely due to my job. Sorry you just get screwed on that one.).

It doesn't matter. This is a temporary phase, a necessary evil I suppose. I always knew I'd be willing to sacrifice for the greater good (gots to earn the dough for travel) and always envisioned living in squalor on a mattress on the floor in a rickety leaky apt (hmm sounds like a certain place I know), and I didn't know then that it would be so squalid internally as well, but it's ok, for now. I still have some thoughts, just not nearly the depth I know I am capable of. Life would look bleak though for sure if I thought this was all I'd be relegated to for 60 years; shackled to nothing of deeper meaning. Of course if I'd never known better, I'd never have noticed, which again now I have an answer to another of those things I'd always wondered about others and could never understand.