Dear Montana;
Whats up playa?!?! My brother JoshyWashington and I just spent a week driving across your soul and devouring your grandure. Your mountains and rivers made me feel cozy and snug in any valley I walked through or drove in. I hope we have math class together again next year. Thanks for the fun and crazy times, see you this summer!
Your friend,
Dusty.j.Summit

PS: W/B and keep in touch.
PSS: Remember when you threw a blizzard on Joshy and I when we were climbing one of your mountains, that was halarious!!!!

Dear Big Grizzly Bear;

You may not remember me but I remember you. I was in Glacier National park in Montana when I saw you. Well to be honest, I never actually saw you. I saw your huge footprints in the snow when my brother Josh and I went for a hike up Gun Sight Mt. We followed your lonely footprints for about 4 miles. We made sure to sing as many Led Zeppelin, OutKast and Styx songs as we could to let you know we were coming up the trail. The park ranger said that you can be grouchy and mean if we surprise you and that we should make noise so you know we are nearby. Instead of yelling and clapping our hands, we sang because we thought you might like that better. You were a very good tour guide for us as we walked through the pretty snow. You’re very lucky to live on a mountain like that. I live in an apartment in Ellensburg Washington which is not as nice or beautiful as your mountain in Montana. I told my friend Josie about you and she said she wanted to meet you also. We have some questions for you. 1) How big are you? 2) Can you really run 30 miles per hour!? 3) Do you live on the mountain by yourself or do have deer, rabbit and mountain lion friends? And lastly, 4) What is your favorite food? I like cheeseburgers.

Thank you, and please write me back so we can be pen pals.

Sincerely,

Dustin J.S.

My Dearest Montana Mountains;

It has been only a few days since I saw you last but it feels a lifetime. The boundlessness of my love for you is matched only by your own snowy ranges. Carved by thousands of years of glaciations, your warming beauty melted away the sharpest sabers of ice. Your long elegant locks of hair make up the many mountain ranges of your land. Each wave of each strand, a rocky peak, a ladder to the heavens. Your elevated air is sweeter than anything I have ever known. Your tumbling blue-green water is more pure than a virgin rose bud. Your eyes burn with the desire of a thousand sunsets. Oh my love, my Montana mountains… I wandered over two thousand miles searching for your most beautiful valley and peak only to find your grace is omni-present and your beauty is throughout.   

 I will count the stars until our next meeting,

With diligent love,

Dustin

To Whom It May Concern;

It has come to the attention of the committee of The Not-So-Awesome states of America that the highway system of the state of Montana is has a direct monopoly of scenic highways and awe-inspiring driving routes. This is in direct violation of the antitrust laws put in place to maintain fair competition amongst other American states. These anti-trust laws were put into place one hundred years ago by the east coast states to keep the travel/adventure industry on an even playing field. Without these regulations, it goes without saying that Montana tourism would swallow up the attention and curiosity of the entire population of the United States. Montana’s defiant refusal to commercialize every town, pollute and over fish its waters, destroy its wildlife, and needlessly over develop its stunning countryside has set it apart form the world and made it the single most spectacular land in all of America. This is unfair to the Not-So-Awesome States of America. It should be noted that most infractions have been committed by Montana’s scenic highways (which includes all highways within the state) and the National and State Parks within the state borders. It has been reported by an anonymous RV’er that “he was privileged of being able to see indigenous and rare wildlife while being hypnotized in the gaze of an unearthly sunset.” This overt action of brainwashing people to wake up from rat-race and to get in touch with the natural world will call for further legal action as well.

Thank you,

Mr. D.J. Summit

Legal Advisor to the Not-So-Awesome States of America