Assignment 3- Edinburgh in 500 words
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As I leave the station, coffee in hand, the smell of yeast seeps through the traffic fumes of the clogged up arteries in the centre. It's not an instantly recognisable smell, nor a particularly overpowering one, but it's always there, warming and slightly sweet, catching a breeze from the breweries on the outskirts before coming to rest over the centre. I head for the taxi queue, but immediately decide to walk. It's huge, filled with t-shirts and hoodies emblazoned with hen party slogans. Poor "Mother in Law" taking part in "Peachy’s Hen Do!" looks a little sheepish, attempting to hide her pink cowboy hat and sparkly feather boa inside a beautiful Mulberry handbag. She'd prefer an evening at The Balmoral, I think as I walk past the grand hotel on the corner, a reminder of the old glamour of Scotland's capital. There are still smoking rooms on the first floor for the regulars. The doorman in tails bows to one such regular, opening the gold and glass doors with a spotless white glove before good-naturedly posing for a photo with a group of Japanese tourists. Turning the corner onto the Bridges, I tuck my head down against the oncoming wind. The people coming towards me look like they're being shoved and bullied by a burly security guard; an immaculate, blond lady in a red coat is fighting with all her might to walk at her intended and preferred pace. It’s a fruitless task. Further up the Bridges, away from the shelter of The Balmoral, Edinburgh’s homeless are settling in for the night. A girl not much older than me is sitting curled up in a ball, her face buried in the neck of a grubby, oversized fleece; her eyes are wide and vacant. I smile, bend down and offer her my coffee. I should say something, anything, but I don’t know where to begin. "I didn't even like coffee 3 months ago," she says, taking the cup with both hands, "but, ta, it keeps ma wee hands warm." The first spots of rain drop ominously onto the pavement. The girl pulls a ragged blanket tightly around her as tourists run for the cover of a tartan shop, and every suit whips out a golf umbrella. Convinced I can beat this storm, I put up my umbrella, hold it down on both sides and run up the street towards my flat. I’m almost there when, predictably, the wind takes it, spokes flailing and material flapping as the rain pours down the back of my neck. "Umbrella's no use in Edinburgh, love," says the owner of the delicatessen next door, smiling as he pulls down the shutter, "thought you'd have worked that out by now." |

I was very impressed by how many contrasting sights and sounds you fitted into such a small space. And the dialogue - it captures Scotland so well.
Very nice...despite how cold you make it sound, it's one of the places we're considering moving to (for some time anyway). I might have to drop you a line to get some insider info! :)
How fun to see a home town story about Edinburgh. I'm reading the Sunday Philosophy Club-books now, so I'm absorbed by Edinburgh life these days. This is a bit different Edinburgh than Alexander McCall Smith's, though :) But no less real.
Haven't been there for years, but I remember girls on hen-dos in cowboy hats.
I liked this piece a lot and I think both the ending and the opening work very well. Very easy to hop right into the scene with that yeasty smell from the breweries - that's not too overpowering, just always there.
(I suppose it shows travel writing - and reading - is subjective, doesn't it...)
Hey Sophie!
I love the Alexander Mccall books, and wandering round the part of the city he describes. its proper old school edinburgh, mainly in the New Town. Its really beautiful!
If you want to read a grittier version of Edinburgh life, Ian Rankin's books are good! x
I enjoyed reading this, got a real sense of cold from it, brrrr
I love this! It's short and to the point, and you effortlessly capture some of the elements that make up Edinburgh life: the homeless, the hen do nightlife, the grand history and the tourists. And, of course, the weather!
I agree with Candice about the ending. The opening, I'm not so sure. I think the second paragraph does grab the reader, but I love the idea of the smell of yeast acting as a welcome home. Maybe you could start here, but tighten it up a bit?
Perhaps something like: "The sweet smell of yeast drifts over from the breweries on the outskirts of town; mingles with the traffic fumes. I sip my coffee, and leave the station." I dunno...
My favourite line: "The girl pulls a ragged blanket tightly around her as tourists run for the cover of a tartan shop, and every suit whips out a golf umbrella."
Nice one!
Thanks Nick!
Candice was talking about an opening paragraph that Ive now taken out, but I think you're right about tightening it up a bit, its always the beginnings I struggle with! Ill get there eventually though! x
Thank you! I think you're right, I always struggle with the openings! I love Edinburgh too...I'm sad I'm not there anymore! :)
Ahh, love Edinburgh. I think I agree with Abbie on her point as well. LOVE the closing paragraph.
I like the scene that you are creating, and I think it would grab the readers' attention more if you started with the second paragraph ... just my two cents :)