It's been over a year now since I left Puerto Rico and as I look back from time to time I cant help but remember the things that were so Puertorican that I laugh about with my friends I lived with there.  For those of you who have spend significant time there or in any other latin country or island, you can probably understand many of my most memorable quirks about La Isla del Encanto.  And for those of you who have been/lived there, I invite you to add your own humorous experiences (as this is by no means a complete list, but merely a sampling of some of my favorite memories)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN PUERTO RICO WHEN:

Your plane touches ground in San Juan and everyone is clapping.

You exit the airport and get entangled in a group of fifty, all waiting, signs raised for their nephew, Jose.

The first thing you are asked at the rental car store is if you want to purchase accident insurance.

“R”s are pronounced as “L”s.  Bienvenido a Puelto Lico mi amol.

Every other guy you meet goes by Charlie.

You speak to the woman at the grocery store in perfect Spanish and she looks at you, confused.

You then repeat it, perfectly again, and she answers you in perfect English.

You are parked at a red light and the person behind you starts honking like crazy, scaring you into running the red light.

Every car around you in the parking lot has been reversed into its spot. 

You are trying to park in Plaza Las Americas and get stuck behind a woman who tries, unsuccessfully, to back into a parking space three times, tries once forward, then gives up, leaving the spot to the mercy of a battle between you and all the cars around you.

Walking into the mall or the bank requires a jacket and gloves.

The locals wont go into the ocean because it’s gotten “too cold” (i.e. dropped below 75 degrees Farenheight/24 Celsius)

The milk you bought yesterday has gone bad.

If the car in front of you has its right blinker on, the last thing they are going to do is turn right.

The emergency exit shoulder on the freeway is treated like an express lane.

The cop that pulled you over for rear-ending the person in front of you ends up asking you out instead of giving you a ticket.    

You back up traffic because you are stopping for a family of Iguanas in the middle of the street.

Avoiding potholes is a survival skill.

You see tourists looking up into the trees at night, trying to see the birds that they think make that sweet chirping music every night.  ;-)

You actually see the chicken cross the road (and freeway, and sidewalk… )

Even ambulances have to wait in traffic.

Trying to exit Old San Juan during a special weekend event feels like the song Hotel California— The old city is “programmed to receive . . . but you can never leave!”

No one has any idea what you are talking about when you mention street names or freeway numbers.

You ask someone directions and they pull out a piece of paper and make a hand-drawn map for you, taking 20 minutes to explain it all in detail, including a hospital and burger king as landmarks.

All directions somehow involve either turning right or left at a Burger King.

The chips you opened an hour ago are stale.