Before I went to Japan, I had been told that the toilet situation was something to be experienced first hand. I heard tell of toilets with heated seats and shower toilets that give a refreshing rinse after you do your business. These toilets are the stuff of legend, and I looked for them every time I had to go, but it wasn’t until my last day in Japan that I happened upon this one in a mall in Tokyo (see poster at right). 

The poster requires a bit of explanation even though the activity it describes typically does not. These are instructions for Westerners on how to use the miraculous mall toilet to its full potential. I would like to draw your attention to the upper right corner of the diagram, where it says “Plays flushing sound for 25 seconds.” Figuring out how to actually flush the toilet is far more difficult than finding the button that plays a recording of the sound of a toilet flushing. I fumbled around making flushing sounds for a full five minutes before I finally found the real flush button. When you think about it, the flushing sound feature is brilliant. It allows you to cover up embarrassing noises without wasting a single drop of water. And if you think you're gonna be a while you can even set the seat temperature for maximum comfort. All I can say is, Wow.