For the extent of my Torres Del Paines trek, I have eaten a highly fibrous diet rich with natural goodness such as Cliff Bars, Natures Valley Bars, Granola Bars, Oatmeal, Peanut Butter, Pasta, etc. While these foods are not my typical meals of choice, out in the woods, they’re good hearty options. Unfortunately however, the nutrition labels didn’t notify me that they would cause unrepentant gas that can clear at least one square kilometer of the great outdoors per cubic centimeter of released gas. This atrocity has been compounded by the fact that I synch down a strap around my abdomen to help stabilize my overweight backpack. I am not sure if you have ever applied a notable amount of pressure to your stomach for long periods of time after eating a barrel of bran, but I can assure, the results are explosive. I have been delegated to the rear position by my hiking mates, who came to the park to soak up the fresh patagonian air, not my letal toxic poison emitting from my rump. I have a few more days left, and for the sake of those around me and myself, I hope my body adjusts. What has transpired in the last 36 hours are the centerpieces for the most legendary dutch ovens imaginable in an unbreathable 0 degree sleeping bag. I will be strictly adhering to the atkins diet upon my return to civilization, for the betterment of society and my boxers.