Matador - sex

County HWY D

Olivebeard — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:18:51 -0500

My wife is taking the lead on the walk. I always thought family would slow me down in my travels; boy, was I right. My load isn't too bad--maybe 20 lbs on my back, and 13.5 in front--but she marches unencumbered down the gravel trail. I labor behind, trying to keep pace, eventually noticing a trail darting...

Winning in Anbar - a footnote to Iraq

Olivebeard — Tue, 5 Aug 2008 08:44:58 -0500

"Everyone made fun of Captain Patriquin's moustache," my brother tells me over a few beers. The Army Officer Corps, despite regulations that say they can maintain a moustache that reaches the corner of the lips, has historically frowned upon such "low-level" facial hair. Captain Patriquin--a fluent speaker...

Can Firefox Unite the World?

Olivebeard — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:18:47 -0500

..probably not, but it can go for a Guinness World Record of "Most software downloaded in 24 hours".

To help achieve this goal, today is "Download Day". To help people check the progress of this undertaking, firefox has a map showing how many download have been made, per country.

It paints a fascinating...

Contemplating 'Culture'

Olivebeard — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:07:08 -0500

I've begun to notice that cultural anthropology has a tendency to be very external in nature. The analysis of what makes an area's "culture" is often performed by someone who has no childhood connection to that place. And yet, time and time again, experts on an "area" call upon their experience with...

Get Away to Viroqua, WI...wait, what?

Olivebeard — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 21:35:03 -0500

There must be a municipal ordnance that comes across the City Council of small towns across America: Item 2361-D Move to Classify Our Town as "Liberal". Upon passage, the street sweepers start spraying patchouli-scented oil into the air, and a food Co-op springs up overnight.

Either way, I love...

Cajun-Tossing and Other Signs of Happiness

Olivebeard — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:36:41 -0500

My father embraced technology a long time ago--a fact that I'm not sure is to society's benefit. His communications from his new home in New Orleans are succint and cryptic, often leaving us to discuss their meaning for days after. One such gem:

Quote:

So, me an' Maria 'r walkin, down Decatur street,...

Seeking love and fortune...

Olivebeard — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:03:10 -0500

Seeking Love and Fortune...

I can't imagine a more apt name for a city, than Plainfield, Illinois. It is plain and it has fields. It is in Illinois. And it is in this quiet city where fortune sits for the taking. Onward I travel, to fortune and glory.

But it is never that simple, is it?

At 6:45 on...

Stuck in Traffic

Olivebeard — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 09:58:16 -0500

The Bodega Brew Pub in La Crosse Wisconsin has the greatest slection of beers and ales in, dare I say, the entire midwest. Normally, the flow of good conversation is evenly paced with the flow of good beer and tonight is no exception. It is in this setting that we're talking about life, death...

What is New Orleans without the Love?

Olivebeard — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 21:33:09 -0600

Dr. Love is the tuning fork I use to guage the soul of New Orleans. Today she is tuned down, maybe a little flat, and singing a sad, soulful dirge with a cracking voice.

"Come to think of it, I didn't see him out today," my mother tells me about Dr. Love, "You can tell he was sad. We talked him out of...

A Journey to an ultrasound

Olivebeard — Mon, 4 Feb 2008 20:40:23 -0600

My wife and I were giddy when we woke up this morning. Today was the little one’s first ultrasound and—with any luck—we would find out the sex. We could finally begin solidify a name, and choosing non-neutral colors.

We just had to make it 25 miles through some horrendous flurries. Hello,...

Winter, ad nauseum

Olivebeard — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 09:19:11 -0600

It's -°12 F outside. At 2:00 in the afternoon, the sun is already making its descent. Natural light has a yellowing hue, even when it's not filtered through our windows. I don't want to go out, but if I stare at this screen any longer, I'll lose my god damn mind.

My wife and I are finding our individual...

Terrified of my Dishwasher

Olivebeard — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:14:41 -0600

For the first time in over 5 years I have a dishwasher. It's an absolute blessing--my soft delicate hands hate the feel of grime. The dishwasher frees me (and, vicariously, my wife) from this burden.

Yet it concerns me greatly and I didn't know why...until now.

Whenever I think it's cold...

Olivebeard — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:29:28 -0600

...Then someone publishes one of these articles.

Yakutsk: Journey to the Coldest City on Earth

Quote:

[i]As we taxi down the icy runway in preparation for take-off, the pilot announces that the current temperature in Moscow is minus 4C....

Go Pack!

Olivebeard — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 11:00:35 -0600

Go Packers!

I would love to turn this into a metaphor for the eternal struggle of man. A symbol of the secret male desire to conquer and to be victorious. I'd like to lay my heart out there and say that, in a way, I feel that we are all Brett Favre and that Seattle represents all that is unholy.

But...

A Little Irish Haven

Olivebeard — Tue, 8 Jan 2008 21:36:14 -0600

http://www.littlehavenonline.com/

I was thumbing through an old journal when I realized something: I'm supposed to tell everyone to stay at Una's Little Haven, in Dundalk, Ireland. No questions asked.

If you care to know, here's why:

It's 2005, and I'm about to land in Ireland. Up to this point, I have...

Invading England, January 2009

Olivebeard — Tue, 1 Jan 2008 21:42:20 -0600

I'm going to England in 2009. Wolverhampton, to be exact, to partake in the 2009 Tough Guy race. I haven't competed in a competitive sport since 2nd grade, and my prior fitness regimen has been piece together from random tidbits, but it seems like a good excuse to go to England--in January.

This...

How the Grinch Gave Christmas Back

Olivebeard — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 18:54:23 -0600

Part 1: Almost Two Years Without Winter

Those not privy to living in snow should understand that Nat
King Cole was full of shit. Of course he was dreaming of a white
Christmas...in Los Angeles! Everyone dreams of a white Christmas when
they aren't shoveling it off the walk. There's a reason for those...

The sky is falling

Olivebeard — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:27:56 -0600

This is a good one. A man has compiled a list of links that blame something on global warming. To date, he has 600 different ills cause by a 0.006 C annual temperature increase.
These links go to some big names. I love this snippet in particular:

a sweet serenade of small arms fire

Olivebeard — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:11:04 -0600

November turns all conversations to deer hunting season. "When", "where", and "how" are the questions that circulate at smoking pavilions and coffee machines, not "if". It was always uncomfortable for me when I worked here, not because I was ideologically opposed to someone else killing their own...

Washington D.C. and the burden of Surviving

Olivebeard — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 12:37:46 -0600

Washington
D.C., August 21st, 2007

I guess we simply can't escape who we are. Here we are in
our great nation's capital, sitting on a bench outside of the Vietnam
memorial, drinking beer. While dozens of signs around...

The Venezuelan Circus Continues...

Olivebeard — Thu, 8 Nov 2007 11:14:41 -0600

This has nothing to do with my travels, but rather with my interest in international politics. Particularly in Venezuela:

"8 Injured After Anti-Hugo Chavez March"

Of course, the real story--to me--is not people being injured, but what they are protesting. According to the...

My First Bartending Gig: A Shakesperian Tragedy

Olivebeard — Tue, 6 Nov 2007 13:34:01 -0600

Our first task, as volunteers of the Hotel Backpackers (the "money making" wing of the orphanage) was to assist in the bar. I began to panic; while I understood Spanish, my ability to converse at a fully functional level was limited, particularly in an establishment soaked in gallons of tongue-relaxing...

Irony for the week...

Olivebeard — Fri, 2 Nov 2007 15:54:54 -0500

I can't help but think that there's a certain irony to Fox News running a story--regardless of author--on the Carl Bernsteins comment about journalism "veering from reality, context"....

A Long Road to Guatemala....Part 2

Olivebeard — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:26:13 -0500

[size=11]Side note: This story—not this one,
but the overall story—ends badly. Ok, perhaps not “badly”, but completely
opposite of our hopes. I say this only because the following entry was written “in
the moment” and ends in present tense. Unfortunately, the real present...

A Long Road to Guatemala....Part 1

Olivebeard — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 13:13:16 -0500

My wife and I don't simply sip upon the bitter liquor that
is misadventure. Like wine aficionados, we swirl it around in the glass and
admire its color and thickness. We push our nose to the glass and let its pungent aroma absorb
into the very essence of our olfactory. We let it sit on our...

A new found respect for mayhem

Olivebeard — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 10:06:50 -0500

I read a lot of things on different travel websites that make tongue-in-cheek references to the United States' spotty foreign policy. Lord knows, I couldn't agree more; it has been pretty bad for the past 8 years (I miss Madeline Albricht) and...

SF Bay Families

Olivebeard — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:01:23 -0500

Pieces like this always bug me:

Bay Area Couple with two kids can't make it on $50,000 year

I searched hard--not once does the report clearly define what they used to determine a "middle class lifestyle", but...

Red F*%king Flag!

Olivebeard — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 22:50:36 -0500

U.S. collecting personal data on travelers

Ok, I'm not creeped out about the government analysing what I do with regard to travel. Not because I'm a big fan of having rights taken away but, at the end...

Jamaican Me Crazy -- Blue Mtns., Pt. 1

Olivebeard — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 10:40:02 -0500

My wife sits quietly in the back of the cab, choking back the intense
fear that this ride imposing upon her. Its the rainy season in Jamaica
and we're placing our faith in a
Datsun which was clearly manufactured before the Warsaw Pact dissolved.
The driver not only battles the weather, but admits...

The Bright Side of Global Warming

Olivebeard — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 12:08:30 -0500

Melting sea ice opens valuable Arctic route

See, global warming won't kill us...we just be moving our business north. My recommendation? Purchase acreage in the Yukon territory while its still cheap. ;)

Quote:

A...